The Day I Was Silent
And Why I Did It
The 29th of February, 2016. I woke up at 6am to the tune of Mr Jones by Counting Crows and then proceeded to lay in my bed for another hour, just staring at the ceiling, contemplating life and whatnot. And as these deep thoughts crossed through my brain, I was hit with an idea that I've had for a while. And what better time to try it than this fabulous extra day of February? So I turned off my music, got out of bed and decided that this would be the day that I went mute.
Now you may be thinking: "Tatty, why on earth would you not want to talk? Surely you want to interact with people around you. You don't what to seem rude."
Indeed, my friends, I too have thought about how I would function during a day without words, and questioned why it seemed so appealing an idea to me. So I will sum it up for you:
1. I don't really see the need for speaking. Yes, it is important at times. Without it, the world would most likely not be where it is today. But I don't particularly feel that my voice is a necessary weapon. I share myself in words, but my words are written. My thoughts are vocalized in black ink. If I can get my ideas across, why does it matter the method I use? Because speaking will never be my first choice.
2. Anxiety, man. I have barrels and barrels of that stuff. I'm not that good at speaking anyways, and sharing myself with others often makes my skin burn and my eyes leak and my heart pound against my chest as if it were a caged animal. If I take out the awkwardness and pressure of having to speak, half of the stress I feel on a daily basis is gone.
3. Now this final reason is a little less "profound" than the other two, but a key reason nevertheless. This year, I wrote a short film entitled "A Thousand Words," and in this short film, there is one girl who's weapon of choice are the words she uses in her stories, and another girl who uses images as the alternative to the words she's stopped speaking. Multiple times throughout my writing process, the people around me commented on the way I seemed to "become" my characters and I realized, these characters were just extensions of myself, with certain elements of my personality more prominent in each of them. That's when I first thought of taking a day of silence, or at least the first time I consciously considered taking one. And that day has come.
So friends, those are my reasons. And I must say, this is nowhere near as difficult as I thought it might be. I've already gone 7 hours with little to no effort and I'm actually quite enjoying it. I usually feel pressure to fill my own silence, but knowing that I wouldn't be able to fill it if I chose to keep my vow, instantly takes away any and all pressure to speak. I love this aspect of it.
I do, however, foresee a few complications my silence may create later in the day. For example, I'm supposed to coach my old jr roller derby team tonight, and it's kind of hard to coach if I don't have a voice to explain the drills and skills to them. Also, I'm not sure how my therapist will take my selective mutism during our session today.
So I may end up calling off my silent streak before the whole 24 hours, but either way, I am learning a lot about myself and the world around me and I'm also really enjoying this selective silence.
Now you may be thinking: "Tatty, why on earth would you not want to talk? Surely you want to interact with people around you. You don't what to seem rude."
Indeed, my friends, I too have thought about how I would function during a day without words, and questioned why it seemed so appealing an idea to me. So I will sum it up for you:
1. I don't really see the need for speaking. Yes, it is important at times. Without it, the world would most likely not be where it is today. But I don't particularly feel that my voice is a necessary weapon. I share myself in words, but my words are written. My thoughts are vocalized in black ink. If I can get my ideas across, why does it matter the method I use? Because speaking will never be my first choice.
2. Anxiety, man. I have barrels and barrels of that stuff. I'm not that good at speaking anyways, and sharing myself with others often makes my skin burn and my eyes leak and my heart pound against my chest as if it were a caged animal. If I take out the awkwardness and pressure of having to speak, half of the stress I feel on a daily basis is gone.
3. Now this final reason is a little less "profound" than the other two, but a key reason nevertheless. This year, I wrote a short film entitled "A Thousand Words," and in this short film, there is one girl who's weapon of choice are the words she uses in her stories, and another girl who uses images as the alternative to the words she's stopped speaking. Multiple times throughout my writing process, the people around me commented on the way I seemed to "become" my characters and I realized, these characters were just extensions of myself, with certain elements of my personality more prominent in each of them. That's when I first thought of taking a day of silence, or at least the first time I consciously considered taking one. And that day has come.
So friends, those are my reasons. And I must say, this is nowhere near as difficult as I thought it might be. I've already gone 7 hours with little to no effort and I'm actually quite enjoying it. I usually feel pressure to fill my own silence, but knowing that I wouldn't be able to fill it if I chose to keep my vow, instantly takes away any and all pressure to speak. I love this aspect of it.
I do, however, foresee a few complications my silence may create later in the day. For example, I'm supposed to coach my old jr roller derby team tonight, and it's kind of hard to coach if I don't have a voice to explain the drills and skills to them. Also, I'm not sure how my therapist will take my selective mutism during our session today.
So I may end up calling off my silent streak before the whole 24 hours, but either way, I am learning a lot about myself and the world around me and I'm also really enjoying this selective silence.
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