The Day I Was Silent

And Why I Did It

The 29th of February, 2016. I woke up at 6am to the tune of Mr Jones by Counting Crows and then proceeded to lay in my bed for another hour, just staring at the ceiling, contemplating life and whatnot. And as these deep thoughts crossed through my brain, I was hit with an idea that I've had for a while. And what better time to try it than this fabulous extra day of February? So I turned off my music, got out of bed and decided that this would be the day that I went mute.

Now you may be thinking: "Tatty, why on earth would you not want to talk? Surely you want to interact with people around you. You don't what to seem rude."

Indeed, my friends, I too have thought about how I would function during a day without words, and questioned why it seemed so appealing an idea to me. So I will sum it up for you:

1. I don't really see the need for speaking. Yes, it is important at times. Without it, the world would most likely not be where it is today. But I don't particularly feel that my voice is a necessary weapon. I share myself in words, but my words are written. My thoughts are vocalized in black ink. If I can get my ideas across, why does it matter the method I use? Because speaking will never be my first choice.

2. Anxiety, man. I have barrels and barrels of that stuff. I'm not that good at speaking anyways, and sharing myself with others often makes my skin burn and my eyes leak and my heart pound against my chest as if it were a caged animal. If I take out the awkwardness and pressure of having to speak, half of the stress I feel on a daily basis is gone.

3. Now this final reason is a little less "profound" than the other two, but a key reason nevertheless. This year, I wrote a short film entitled "A Thousand Words," and in this short film, there is one girl who's weapon of choice are the words she uses in her stories, and another girl who uses images as the alternative to the words she's stopped speaking. Multiple times throughout my writing process, the people around me commented on the way I seemed to "become" my characters and I realized, these characters were just extensions of myself, with certain elements of my personality more prominent in each of them. That's when I first thought of taking a day of silence, or at least the first time I consciously considered taking one. And that day has come.

So friends, those are my reasons. And I must say, this is nowhere near as difficult as I thought it might be. I've already gone 7 hours with little to no effort and I'm actually quite enjoying it. I usually feel pressure to fill my own silence, but knowing that I wouldn't be able to fill it if I chose to keep my vow, instantly takes away any and all pressure to speak. I love this aspect of it.

I do, however, foresee a few complications my silence may create later in the day. For example, I'm supposed to coach my old jr roller derby team tonight, and it's kind of hard to coach if I don't have a voice to explain the drills and skills to them. Also, I'm not sure how my therapist will take my selective mutism during our session today.

So I may end up calling off my silent streak before the whole 24 hours, but either way, I am learning a lot about myself and the world around me and I'm also really enjoying this selective silence.

Winter Final Video

a.k.a. "Tatty Is Dead Again"

Hello... It's Me... Not like it would be anyone else. This is my blog. And today I'm here to tell you about one of the most eventful videos I've ever been a part of. This is the story of our Winter Final.

Once upon a Finals Week, the fearless leader of eComm, Morris, posted online the prompts to be used by her faithful students in creating their finals videos. One of four themes (Love/Hate, Lost/Found, Forgotten/Remembered, and Stolen/Reclaimed) was to be selected and portrayed through a 2 to 3 minute short. I teamed up with Alex (no, that's not a typo. I do know an Alex and an Alec. Actually I know two Alexes and an Alec, anyways...) and I came up with the idea that I would be a dead girl that led Alex's character to my body. Lost and Found. It seemed simple enough. It was basically a chase scene with a few camera tricks and effects. Should be easy. 

Oh were we wrong.

First off, after we finished nourishing ourselves for a long afternoon of filming, my car, my beloved Mr Jones, did something really stupid. I turned it on, put my foot on the brake, put it in reverse, and Mr Jones decided it'd be a good time to roll forward up on the curb. My foot was on the brake. I had the car in reverse. And up on the curb it rolled. So I turned it off and started again. I took backroads to get to the location after that.

When we got to the park where we were filming, I played on the playground for a while, because I am forever a child, and then I went down a slide and completely flipped off the end and face planted on the ground so that was enough playground for me.

I climbed a tree and Alex filmed a few shots. Then we decided to do jump cuts and set the camera up to shoot several shots with me in different positions from the exact same angle. Now began the tricky part. We wanted to have Alex chasing me while I jumped from position to position, but to keep with continuation of motion, Alex couldn't move, but neither could I. And we had no cameraperson. There's a lot of footage of us standing probably 20 feet away from each other, not moving, just talking, trying to figure out our next move. We took it one shot at a time and figured out a system to get all the shots. I'm really proud of how we figured it out.

As we were leaving the park, with all our footage the way we wanted it, I noticed something off about my car. Mr Jones had a flat tire! Ugh! I would've changed it myself, but I didn't know that there was a jack in my car. But we saw a cop parked a few lots down and asked for his help. I felt kind of bad, if I had known I had everything in my car, I would've gladly done it myself, but he went ahead and did it all. So thanks random police man. I was very afraid to approach you, but you really helped us out.

So that was our day of filming, but the adventure didn't stop there. We edited the video and realized it was only 35 seconds long. It was supposed to be 2 to 3 minutes. In hindsight we should've known a chase scene couldn't last 2 minutes. We tried to figure out how to fill up more time, but none of them seemed to fit our story just right. We decided to just stick with our 35 second short that also doesn't have audio because we couldn't figure out what would sound best with it.

If we could do it again, I would make sure to lengthen the story and go into it with a more developed plan. I would also make sure we had a song or some sort of audio to help the audience understand even more. I'd also choose an actress that is not me 1) because I hate acting, and 2) because I suck at it and that's why I always have to play dead girls. There are a lot of things I'd like to change were we to do it all again, but in general, I think our effects made up for some of the areas that were lacking.

I'll post the link later, but for now, I wish you happy holidays. 

From,

Your friendly neighborhood Tatty

I Miss You

A Kind-Of Review of My Favorite Short Film

Over the past few months, I've really been trying to further immerse myself in the world of film and build my short film watch list. In that process, I came across I Miss You, directed by Anton Sheptooha and Nick L'Barrow and I absolutely adore it.

Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F5oD7G40ng&index=149&list=WL

The story is simple and is told entirely through a voiceover by the main character that turns out to be an email he is writing to his ex-girlfriend. Though the storyline is simple, the execution creates such empathy with the characters that the audience feels as if they have witnessed firsthand the entire relationship; love, heartache, and all. At least, it does for me.

I am particularly fond of the voiceover and the writing in this film. The words are so heartfelt and emotional that every ounce of love and every ounce of pain can be heard and felt. And the softness of his voice adds a vulnerability that perfectly compliments the words he's speaking. Poetic narration is one of my favorite things that can be done (both to watch and to write) and this film was especially helpful on that front as I began to write the screenplay for my own upcoming short (to be released in Spring 2016), which will rely heavily on inner monologue.

Visually, I like how the story is told from their first meeting, through their relationship, and to the present where he is writing the email. The way the images sometimes slightly contradict with the words being said adds another emotional element that helps the audience feel a longing for the "good" moments: "Why am I missing this girl that I have no connection to? Why do I feel so heartbroken?" That, my friends, is called empathy. This film does a great job of making the audience feel as if it is them living through this moment.

All in all, I absolutely love this film and I would recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat. I definitely think you should check it out. I hope you like it as much as I do. Ciao!

'Relic'

A 24+ Hour Adventure

It's time for an epic tale. A tale of shovels, cheesy potatoes, sleep deprivation, and murder. I hope you enjoy.

Once upon a Friday, specifically at 2:00pm on Friday, October 16, 2015, three heroes/ film nerds, otherwise known as "The Trinity" (to no one but ourselves), met up at the house of one member, Miranda. We occupied ourselves with a PVRIS Q&A on the internet until 3:00, when the prompts for the Kansas High School 24-Hour Film Fest would be posted. We read through the prompts, overwhelmed by the complexity, and then set off to our school to get more equipment and pick up our actress, Peyton.

During the drive, we came up with an idea and asked Peyton to text her friends to get more actresses. We began filming scenes with just her at a park near my house. After climbing a tree several times, with a camera, and eating an entire bag of gummy sharks, Peyton informed us that none of her friends were available to help out. So we sat down in the park and had a second brainstorm session. 

We came up with a new idea and planned it out. We then headed back to Miranda's house to inform her mother that we would need her to act and to put black-eye makeup on Peyton that we ended up washing off because it looked like crap (no offense Alec). 

The Trinity then set off to the first location: a local community center with an awesome tree. We filmed for about an hour, fighting against the fading daylight. Alec got some amazing shots, Miranda got to test out her acting skills, and I proved my knowledge about audio recording.

We went back to Miranda's house for a nacho break (bless Miranda's mother for making us food), but when we started looking through our footage, Miranda and I decided we didn't like the idea anymore and wanted to change it. Alec was a little harder to convince, but he eventually agreed. It was 10 o'clock and we didn't have an idea.

Here's where we implemented an approach that probably helped us win our awards. We decided to treat this project as if it were a music video --something we as a group, and as individuals for that matter, are much more skilled at than short films. If you take nothing else away from this lengthy tale, at least remember that if one way isn't working out, try a different way. Use what you know. So we found a song first and then we based the story off that.

I won't tell you what our idea was because spoilers but I will tell you that the night proceeded with filming, passing a very sketchy RV with dogs inside, shovel murder, bad jokes, sleep-deprived hysterical laughter, and a 4:00 am trip to Perkins for cheesy potatoes.

We turned in the final video at 3:00pm the next day in Wichita, KS (one of my least favorite cities ever) and then proceeded to the live screening and judging of all entries and the following awards' ceremony. The Trinity took home two awards: Best Editing and Best Cinematography. Woot woot!

All in all it was an exhausting weekend and at the time I may have regretted it and wanted to quit, but in the end I'm glad we did it. I feel like we learned a lot and the best bonding happens at the butt crack of dawn. 

Link for 'Relic': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USj19HeWb0A

Prompts for 2015 24-Hour Film Fest: https://kansas12hrfilmfest.wordpress.com/this-years-prompt/

*Warning: 'Relic' turned out insanely more violent and twisted than we originally thought it would. Blame our 4 o'clock minds. *

How We Did The Last Dance Car Crash

The Method to Our Murder

Now that you've see Last Dance, you may be wondering "Tatty, how did you do the car crash? Did you actually crash the cars? Did you actually kill Maggie?" Well, blogpost reader, the answer to all your questions is no. Except the first one, that's not a yes or no question, but I will answer it right now. This is how we created the Last Dance car crash.

Step 1: Research. When we started this process, we had no clue how to create a realistic car crash, so we did some interweb investigating and discovered a fairly simple yet realistic looking method.

Step 2: Location. We had to find a place where we could film a fake car crash that 1) wouldn't have any other cars, 2) would be lit well enough to film at night, 3) wouldn't look too much like a parking lot, and 4) we wouldn't get busted for "suspicious activity." We settled on the parking lot of Miranda's old elementary school at 10 o'clock at night.

Step 3: Filming. How the heckle are we gonna actually film it? We knew the effect we had to create, but it would be dark, and we had to get close enough shots so you couldn't see the houses in the background. I ended up climbing in and on both cars in many uncomfortable positions to get the shots we needed.

So that's not really a tutorial, but I'll give it to you here:

In order to film a car crash without actually crashing cars, we parked the cars so they were nose to nose with only enough space between them for a person to walk through. Then we taught our actors how to act in reverse, starting with their bodies forward and their heads down, and then when they floored it in reverse, they shot back and looked happy again. In editing, we reversed the shots and sped them up so it looked like they were driving at each other. Then we did quick cuts between angles and a fade to white on "impact" so the viewers couldn't tell that the cars didn't actually crash.

Here are the Youtube tutorials we used to learn the technique: Film Riot https://youtu.be/oHXlMvWtfmw?t=9m16s and Pegleg Media https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJF9bwY1CHo. 

Thanks for being awesome and crash your cars responsibly.

Last Dance

Music Video and Brain Child

Story time! About a year ago, I was searching through the depths of Youtube and I happened across an incredibly amazing song called Last Dance by Camera Can't Lie. I immediately fell in love with the song and for a solid week, it was the only thing I listened too. Then, on a Wednesday night in a loud, smelly skating rink in North Kansas City, I was struck by the inspiration bus. Images of dancing and fairy lights and roses filled my mind. And then I, being the cruel, heartless person that I am (not really), decided there needed to be a tragedy.

This is where I suggest you watch the video, so I don't spoil anything. Here's the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhC_hBw3G_I

So that was my idea, and about 6 or so months later, the squad (Miranda, Alec, and I) found the perfect opportunity to bring it to life. 

"The door to the heart is open and shut,
like the warmth of your breathe."

First, we wrote a pitch to present to the class, which they approved. We proceeded to the planning phase with me doing research on how to create certain effects and props, Miranda working on a schedule as well as creating the shortlist with Alec while I voiced my visions. We found actors (one of which ended up being Alec) and set our dates for shooting.

Day One came and it was way colder than we expected. Alec and I climbed on the roof to hang fairy lights over the patio while Miranda set up on the ground and Maggie (our lead actress) became more acquainted with the song and our plans. Then we taught our actors a basic dance sequence and set up to film. It was quite dark, so some of our night shots ended up a little grainy, and it was freezing (I felt especially bad about the weather because Maggie was in a tiny dress), but we powered through like the awesome filmmakers we are and were ready for our next location: an elementary school parking lot.

"If this was our last dance, I'd wait in the rain,
to see your face."

After several failed attempts at filming a car crash, a few car breaks to warm up, a group of guys driving by to make sure the (fake) bloodied up Maggie lying on the ground wasn't actually dead, and someone calling the cops on us, we finally wrapped for the day and went home to celebrate our success.

Day two was far less dramatic, consisting of "getting ready" shots, an infuriating twelve takes of a single, simple shot, and ending in a cemetery. So I guess it was a little dramatic, but it was far more fun and relaxing because we weren't fighting against darkness and coldness. And we stopped at a little corner Kool-Aid stand, so that was cool. We finished filming that day and started editing the next day at school.

Editing was fun, Miranda at the lead of course, and we made a few different videos: the Actual one which is the one in the link above, the "Alternate Ending" one which is only available with a link and is hilarious, and a Blooper Reel of us being stupid. We presented the Actual video and every seemed to like it. It's one of my favorite projects and I'm really proud of how it turned out. 

There are a few things I would change of course. I wish we had had more light in the night dancing scenes so it didn't have to be so grainy. I wish the fake blood looked more like blood and less like barbecue sauce (which it did in daylight, but night in streetlamp light). I wish Alec had worn nicer pants. 

But these are things I can live with, because I'm proud of Last Dance. I hope you enjoy it!

My House

A Music Video and an Epic Tale 

Once again, it's time for a long overdue post (though due to a recent opportunity, I'm glad I saved this post until now. So gather 'round and I'll tell you the story of our music video to the song My House by PVRIS.

Flashback to March 2015. The annual eMagine Media Festival hosted by my school was fast approaching and my partners (Miranda and Alec) and I were hustling to figure out what we were going to submit. We agreed on a music video, but to what song? The next day, we all came prepared with a few songs each and some key elements we would incorporate with each of them. Song after song we went through, some more promising than others, and then we heard it. Miranda had brought us the song My House by PVRIS and our minds were unanimously made up.

So we had a song. Now the video. And the fast-approaching deadline only a week away. 

(*Quick Tip: Procrastination is a terrible thing, especially in the film industry, and should be avoided at all costs. However, you will notice from many of my posts that it's easier said than done.*)

Anyways, we decided to stick to a recurring theme of our videos: strong independent women. We recruited Sarah (the same Sarah in the Old Scars/ Future Hearts imitation music video) and my friend Brigham as our actors, only giving Sarah two days to learn the song. We bought a bunch of cheap glass at a thrift store and tested many different ways to track Sarah as she walked (Alec ended up sitting in the trunk of his car and out Miranda's sunroof while we drove less than 2mph down the street). We also set up the studio at our school for the dark room shots.

It was a stressful week, but we managed to get the entire video planed, filmed, and edited in time for the deadline, and it turned out way better than we ever imagined. And when the night of imagine came, we ended up walking away with second place in the category. Quite an accomplishment I'd say. However, an even bigger opportunity was just around the corner, well, if it takes three months to round the corner.

Miranda and I meeting Lynn Gunn and Brian MacDonald
of PVRIS at Vans Warped Tour 2015

Miranda and I were checking the lineup for Warped Tour 2015 when we noticed PVRIS was playing this year. After both freaking out in excitement, I decided to ask one of my friends who just so happens to own a plug business that sponsors and travels with Warped Tour if she could figure out a way for us to meet PVRIS. She did. When the day of Warped came, Miranda and I were ecstatic. We were going to meet the band responsible for the song that we used and won an award with! And at the last second, I decided to grab a flash drive with the video on it to give to them. Well, the time came, and Miranda and I were nervous as we handed it over and explained it, but Lynn (the brilliant and gorgeous lead singer) seemed so impressed and excited and we walked away in disbelief that the whole exchange had actually happened. I don't know if they ever watched it, but it feels so amazing to know that something we made, made it's way back to the people who created the song.

So that's the grand story of our My House music video. From conception, to production, to award nights, to the hands of PVRIS, this video has been on quite a journey, and I'm glad I was along for the life-changing ride.

(Due to copyright laws, the video is no longer available on Youtube. When I figure out where and if I can post it without getting busted by the internet feds, I'll post the link here. Until then, thanks for imagining. Never stop.)